


Guide Me Through The Night

by petersgirl



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Funny, Humor, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-03 21:37:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1757623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petersgirl/pseuds/petersgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I woke up not sure where I was or where I've been with someone I didn't know. After hearing the explanation; it would have been better if I just stayed home. I should have listened to Paul; hit it and quit it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ***********I do not own any of the characters rights. No copy right intended.**************

**SETH POV**

 

I have been wondering around the reservation trying to find a private spot for almost an hour now. Every time I turn around I see or smell someone nearby. You would think with all of this land that this would be an easy task but let me tell you it's not. I finally just said screw it and went home to watch TV. Both Mom and Leah are here so there is no alone time for me to be able to think.

I surfed through the channels until I found women's volleyball but today, even that wasn't worth watching. On a normal day that would have thrilled the hell out of me to see how they jiggle when they jump up and down.

Mom was banging dishes in the kitchen making noises and Leah was bitching about whatever she was today. I was trying to tune them out but I couldn't.

"You two aren't the only ones that live here and have problems you know."

Mom stuck her head out of the kitchen "Seth what is wrong with you? Come in here and we'll talk about it."

I know she means well but the last person I wanted to talk to about my feelings with was my Mother "You wouldn't understand." I slammed the door behind me.

I don't think anyone understands but maybe some of my pack brothers. Talking to them is like asking for my nuts to be put into a vise. They just make stupid comments or tell me I'm young and I will figure it out with time.

I'm too young to be a man. Too damn old to be a boy. I'm stuck somewhere in between all of that shit and being a wolf. Not sure where I fit in, even if I do. I feel like I don't relate to anyone or anything anymore.

I try to do the right thing; make good grades to please my Mom, be a sounding board for Leah to be a good brother and be dedicated to my pack brothers. Sam always tells me that it will get easier with time but how much longer do I have to wait for that to happen. Every day I am getting farther away from caring about anything.

Then it happened; I met her and she guided me through the night that sent me on a roller coaster ride to hell. I became whatever it took to make her happy and to please her. Knowing that I would get caught up in the web of lies that I was telling and the games we played but I didn't give a shit.

But I couldn't help myself from doing it and enjoying every minute of the wild ride she was taking me on. I should have listened to what I've heard Paul say so many times; hit it and quit it. But, I didn't and this is where my story begins. I woke up with a stranger that made my life more fucked up than I could have ever dreamed was possible. If I would have only known; I would have just stayed home.

 

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

 

I was begging Sam to let me go on the weekend trip with Paul, Jacob, Quill, Embry and Jared. They are going on a week of Tribal Gatherings. The elders felt it would be good for them to find out about other tribes and their rituals that had been passed down through the generations.

They were all throwing a fit about having to go, but not me. I just wanted to go somewhere, anywhere would do. Sam was getting irritated with their whining.

"You will go and you will represent our ancestors with respect. If you guys cause any problems or don't do as your told; you will answer to me when you get home."

Paul was the worst one "Oh come on Sam, this is a bunch of bullshit and you know it. You're not going so why do we have to? It's going to be the most boring week and we have nothing in common with them unless their wolves too."

Sam was getting more irritated by the minute, especially with Paul "That is the point of sending you. To find out what you have in common with them. Explore your heritage and find your roots. You're all going and that's the end of it. Jacob I expect you to take the lead while you guys are there." The alpha had told them what they were going to do and it was a done deal now.

I went to Sam's house to beg one more time for him to let me go. He was laughing "They are all begging me to let them stay here and you're begging me to let you go. Seth why is this so important to you?"

I considered making up something to tell him but I decided I would tell him the truth about how I felt "I don't feel like I have any common ground anymore. I'm always too young to behave that way or I'm not old enough to do that yet. I went to bed a kid and woke up wolf one day. Time isn't making anything any easier for me. I thought that if I went maybe I can find my roots or maybe at least find a better understanding of who I am. I miss my Dad and wish he was still here so I would have someone that could guide me through this shit." I was so emotional thinking about my Dad and know it showed when I spoke about him.

After I told Sam my reason he thought about it for a minute "I'll tell you what Seth, if Sue says you can go, then you can. What you just said to me is what I'm hoping that you all will get from going on this trip." I thanked Sam and went to find Mom to get her to say yes.

Getting her to say yes took some doing. She still sees me as her little baby. I agreed to stay with the others, call her every day and not get into any trouble.

We stayed at the cheapest hotel nearby the convention center. Jacob was hurrying us along so we didn't miss the first speaker of the day. Sam put a lot of pressure on Jacob to make sure that this trip went well and we didn't miss out on anything that it had to offer.

I personally enjoyed listening to the stories that they told from other tribes and I think that Jacob did too. Quill, Embry and Jared at least listened. We had to keep elbowing Paul to keep him awake.

The day went by very fast and poor Jacob was bombarded with invitations to attend special meetings and hang out with other tribes. He told us to go back to the room and he would meet us there later.

They were all making plans to go down the street to a bar and I was getting ready to go with them when Paul stopped me "Where do you think you're going?" I told him I was going to.

"You're too young to get in. At least the others look old enough. There is a Chucky Cheese down the street. That's probably more your speed there sport." I don't know why I thought coming with them would change anything because it hasn't. They're still treating me like I'm some little kid. Well fuck them, I don't have to spend time around them. I will go find something to do on my own.

I found a burger place and went in. Placed my order and sat down. I don't think I've felt more alone than I do right now. My brothers tossed me aside to go chase tail just like they always do. The only one that's not on my shit list right now is Jacob.

While I was waiting for my food the waitress came over "Is there anything else that I can bring you?" I told her I was fine and asked where the bathroom was. She pointed to the back of the restaurant.

When I came out of the bathroom there were three smokin hot girls setting across from the booth I was sitting at. The brunette was kind of on the shy side and just smiled when she was listening to what the one was saying. The redhead hadn't said anything yet, she was playing around on her phone. The blond you could hear from anywhere you sat in the restaurant.

"I'm telling you Jan the best way to get over your old guy after a break up is to get under a new one." So now I knew that the brunettes name was Jan and she just broke up with her boyfriend.

Jan's face was red "God Pg don't you ever give it a rest. I'm going out tonight isn't that enough considering that I didn't want to go to begin with. I don't even know why I let you guys talk me into this."

I thought that was kind of cute and I would be more than happy to be the one that assisted her to get over the old boyfriend. But I'm sure I would hear the same thing from these girls as I hear from everybody else; you're too damn young.

The redhead put her phone down on the table "Now you know we need to let Jan ease back into the dating scene. Not everyone is like you Pg and think that you should sample men like normal people do the Baskin Robins list of flavors."

"So I date a lot Fae. What is wrong with that? Jan needs to do a little sampling while she's still young."

I was thinking about some things I would love to sample on these girls when I saw a spoon fly across my face. I looked over at them. The one they call Pg was snapping her fingers at me.

"I've been trying to get your attention. Now that I have it, I have a question for you. Look at my lovely friend here and tell me that you wouldn't love to ask her out? She thinks and acts like an old grandma for some reason. We're trying to tell her that there are tons of men that want to go out with her. Now Jan stand up so he can see your butt before he answers the question."

I froze because I wasn't sure if I should respond to them or not.

Jan hid her face "Pg will you please shut up."

"Sorry about that. You never know what might come out of her damn mouth. She has no shame." I smiled and went back to eating.

I listen to them go back and forth for a while. I smiled for the first time on this trip. These girls are something else. They talked about everything from makeup tips to some of their sexual experiences. Hell they were making me blush.

After the girls left it seemed really quiet inside the restaurant. I ordered ice cream and was dreading going back to the empty room alone. I called Jacob to see if he was done yet and he told me he was staying at convention center for a party. Then he was going to crashing there with some people he had met.

I called Jared and the music was loud in the back ground when he answered "I don't know when we'll be back but damn dude you're missing out. There's a bunch of college chicks here. If I'm lucky you won't see me for a week." I hung up the phone. Everybody has something to do and a life but me.

When I walked outside the girls were all waiting around their car. They said the car wouldn't start and someone was coming to pick them up. A car with two more hot chicks pulled up and one of them yelled at me.

"Hey burger boy, do you want to go to a frat party with us?" I couldn't get to that car fast enough to get in.

I was cramped in the back seat with three hotties and wished that this ride would go on forever. The driver introduced herself "I'm Miami and this one in the passenger seat is Misty." I asked if that was where she was from to get that nickname.

She gave me a smile that just would make you want to beg her to love you "No I got that name because I know how to make you get really hot." I was shivering with goose bumps because that was damn straight she knows how.

But thinking back now; I should have just never gotten into the car with them. My Mom always told me to never talk to strangers and never accept a ride from them either. This story is why I should have listened to what my Mother had told me.

I wasn't prepared for what happened next. I just thought I wanted to be grown up until grown up responsibilities came with my actions.

 

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

 

I snuggled my head back into the pillow and wasn't ready to wake up yet. I rolled over and felt something warm lying beside me. I opened my eyes to a naked girl with brunette hair. I'm pretty sure that she's not the same girl that I met last night either.

Trying not to be freaking out, I sat up on the side of the bed. I think that I had my first sexual experience and missed it. Actually I was still wearing the damn condom so I know I did. I remember going to the frat party with the girls but not much else after that.

A girl with just a bra and a pair of shorts on came into the room "Don't mind me I'm just going to grab my blouse that Bee borrowed and I'll get out of the way." I hope that the girl's name that I slept with is Bee because I don't think calling her; hey I just fucked you but don't know your name is appropriate.

I covered my junk up with the blanket and was trying not to look at her as she was rummaging through the closet. She took a blouse off of a hanger and came over to the bed. She smacked the girl that was in bed with me on the butt.

"Bee get up your boy toy is awake."

She smiled at me "I'm Gem by the way." Then she closed the door behind her. What a little gem she is too.

Bee put her hand on my back. My breathing went hard and erratic just from her touch "Good morning Paul. Did you sleep well?"

After she said that my breathing wasn't a problem anymore; because it had almost stopped completely.

Apparently telling her my name was Paul wasn't the only lie that I had told her during the night that we had spent together. I was a sophomore; in college. I guess the sophomore part really is true but in high school. My major is philosophy and my words to her were as smooth as Casanova himself. There were so many others lies that I learned that I had told her; I was ashamed of myself. But the biggest one was my age. I had told her I was nineteen going on twenty. That will be true in a couple of years.

There are nine college girls that live in the house together; all very hot girls that live together I should point out. I had met most of them already. But on my way out I ran into another one. She was doing yoga and damn that can make you really limber. She was putting her body into positions that I hadn't ever seen before.

"Good morning, I'm Nancy. Who are you?"

Bee came out dressed and this is the first time I had really looked at her. She was beautiful "Nancy this Paul." I nodded my head at Nancy and was practically running for the fucking door.

Bee walked me out and put her arms around my neck "I had a good time last night. Would you like to do something tonight if you're not busy?" I wasn't sure what the morning after ediquettes was or what I should say.

So I said the only thing that came to my mind "I can't, I have to go to Chucky Cheese tonight with my brothers."

"Oh Paul you're so silly. You had us cracking up all night." I'm glad that I amused them because I am damn sure that Paul wouldn't find it amusing that I used his name.

When her lips were on mine, nothing else mattered. I knew it was wrong and I should have told her the truth then but I didn't want to. The feelings I was having from just this kiss took over and I went along with the lies that I had already told her.

I ran back to the room and no one was there. I showered as fast as I could and found some clothes to put on. I stuck the clothes that I was wearing last night in a trash bag and dropped them in a dumpster on way to the center. I didn't need them smelling the girls on me or my clothes.

The guys were standing outside the convention center when I got there on a break. Jacob was pissed at me "Seth where the fuck have you been, I have been calling you? They told me you weren't in the room this morning and no one knew where you were at. Sue is frantic because she said you didn't call her yesterday so she has been calling us trying to get a hold of you."

Oh shit, I had forgotten to call Mom "I wasn't feeling well, I think it was something that I ate last night. I got up early this morning and went for a walk to get some air. I stopped off at a park and sat down on the bench. I must have fallen asleep. I lost my cell yesterday and haven't found it yet. Sorry I didn't mean to worry you guys."

Part of the story I told them is true. I lost my cell phone somewhere and I didn't mean to worry them.

Jacob handed me his phone "Call your mom before she comes down here and kicks my ass. If you leave the room again; at least leave a note so we know where you are because we can't call your phone."

I told Mom that I had lost my cell and was sorry that I hadn't checked in with her. She asked me if I was having a good time and if I learned anything from coming here. With a smile on my face "It's been the time of life. I learned things that you wouldn't believe."

Jacob told me if I wasn't feeling well to go back to the room and lay down. They had a gathering after this and it would be late when they got back. I was really grateful because my butt was dragging and for some reason I couldn't remember what I had done or why I felt this way.

Paul was eyeing me "Something is off with you. So what's going on?"

I acted like I didn't know what he was talking about. Jacob told Paul to leave me alone. That I was just sick and I needed to get some rest. Believe me when I say I felt sick and damn well needed the rest.

After I had slept a few hours I decided to go back to the girl's house to see if I left my cell phone there. Misty answered the door.

"Oh Bee wolf boy is back for seconds."

My face must have turned white if that was possible "Did you just call me wolf boy?" I thought that I felt panic this morning but it wasn't anything like I was feeling now. Did I expose our secret?

"Yeah I did. Last night on our way home you were hanging your head out of the window howling at the moon. So I nicknamed you wolf boy." What else did I do or tell these girls last night?

I spent the afternoon with Bee in her bed. Every time we had sex it was like having my first time again. When I wasn't sure what I should do; it was like she knew and showed me. I wasn't lasting very long and felt that I was shorting her on her own pleasure. But each time she would tell me how much she loved it and how great it was. She guided me from being a boy to man.

I was getting ready to leave and was kissing Bee when Quill, Embry and Jared walked up behind me "Hey Seth, are you going to introduce us to your friend?" My heart almost stopped because I was about to get busted.

Bee looked at me then them "Paul why are they calling you Seth?"

Jared smirked "Yeah Paul I would love to hear the answer to that question."

I told her it was my middle name and excused myself for a moment "What are you guys doing here and how did you know where I was?"

They said that Paul and Jacob had stayed but they decided to go back to the room and came across my scent on the way. I gave them a brief explanation and begged them not to say anything.

Quill put his arm around my neck "Let me make sure that I understand you. You hooked up with some chick you didn't even know last night. Told her your name is Paul. Then you ditched us to come back here and fuck her again today. So you're at our mercy." I guess he summed it up pretty well.

The girls were coming out of the house carrying luggage. They all wanted to know who my friends were. I went to introduce them but hell now they decided to be somebody else too. Quill said his name was Sam Uley and Embry was Jacob Black. The only one that was original was Jared.

"I'm Billy the Kid."

Fae gave him a seductive smile "Well are you good with your gun, kid?"

"I'm very good with my gun and its loaded Darlin, so you might want to be careful." I covered my face because I know this is going to get all fucked up.

The girls were going on a spur of the moment trip on a private jet that one of their parents owns. Somehow we got invited to go along too. We are going to go with them and then catch the jet back after the six hour layover. We should be able to get back here before they even know that were gone. Quill called Jacob and told him we were going to a midnight matinée. Our alibi was in place.

We were all awed by these beauties and we were putty in their hands for them to sculpt. On the jet the alcohol was flowing freely and we were all enjoying it.

They kept talking about a girl named Wheels that was going to be meeting them at the airport. Quill asked why they called her that; was it because she drove fast?

Jess stopped flipping through her magazine "Oh honey after you meet her; you'll know why."

Bee was sitting on my lap and whispered in my ear "Do you want to join the mile high club?"

She guided me through another sexual experience that most guys only get to fantasize about.

It wasn't enough that I had done things to mess up everything in my own life. But now I was taking my pack brothers with me. I introduced them into a world that none of us knew ever existed. We lived a pretty simple and protected life on the reservation. Nothing like what we were about to experience.

I often wonder what would have changed if we never had gotten on the jet that night. Would my life have gone in a different direction or would the outcome still have stayed the same?

 

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

 

I rolled over to find Bee and found I had a handful of something I didn't know what the fuck it was. I opened my eyes and was face to face with a chimpanzee.

"What the fuck?" I jumped out of bed and stepped on a bunch of bananas. There were bananas all over the bed and the floor. The chimpanzee held up a banana for me to take from him.

I slipped on my shorts and closed the bedroom door behind me. I walked down a long hallway to somewhere. I have no fucking clue where I was at or where it was leading me to.

When I walked out into the living room it was trashed. The couch was upside down along with the rest of furniture strung out throughout the room. Beer bottles and liquor bottles sat around everywhere. Chinese food containers, some were dumped on the carpet and some were opened up on the coffee table. There was more damn bananas strung around the room. I called out but no one answered me.

I needed to get some air. I opened the balcony doors and saw Embry stretched out with only his underwear on. Or I think it was Embry anyways because this dudes head was shaved. I wonder why he would shave his head. Embry always loved his hair. It was a thing with him.

I walked closer and sure enough it was him. He had a pair of thigh high panty hose wrapped around his neck like a tie.

I woke his ass up and asked him if he knew what the hell we did last night "No man I don't remember shit. The last thing I remember was hopping the jet with the girls. We were drinking a lot but I can't believe that booze would make me feel this bad."

I was feeling the same as I felt the first night that I had spent with Bee. Besides the splitting head ache and upset stomach; I was unsure of what I had actually done or who the hell I had done it with for that matter.

We both were moving in slow motion searching for Jared and Quill. Embry went into the bathroom and screamed "Where the fuck is my hair?"

That answered my question from earlier; he has no clue of why his head was shaved.

"Seth get in here I found Quill." I went into the bathroom and Quill was curled up in the bathtub with his head on a pillow. He was holding on to a bunch of bananas naked.

I went over to shake Quill to wake him up but we must have startled him. He threw the bananas "Where the fuck am I?" That was a question that I think we all wanted to know and needed to get the answer to.

When Quill stood up Embry and I looked at each other. I pointed to his thingy "What the fuck is that?"

Quill looked down "Holy shit."

There was silver glitter all over his dick. He was trying to get it to come off and I wanted to throw up watching him touch himself. Embry and I left the bathroom to let him do whatever it was he needed to do.

When Quill came out of the bathroom "All I remember is one of the girls liked sparkly things but I definitely don't remember how the fuck I got glitter stuck to my dick."

We went and got some of our clothes and put them on. The girls were nowhere to be found and their stuff wasn't here. So we were searching around to see what we could find in this very expense hotel suite that had been trashed beyond recognition.

Quills face went blank "Where's Jared?"

I guess in our morning after; we had for gotten about him. Quill called his cell phone and we heard it ringing under the couch. Well at least we found him. He must have passed out under there at some point. When we flipped it over, all we found was Jared's pants and his cell phone.

There were noises coming from down the hallway. Quill and Embry asked what the hell it was.

"There is a chimpanzee in the bedroom. I didn't know what to do with him so I left him there."

Embry was running down the hallway "No way, I've got to see this."

Embry came back leading him by the hand "I think I'm going to call him Clyde."

Quill punched Embry in the arm "Asshole we can't keep a monkey, he isn't ours. So stop playing around with him."

Embry let go of Clyde's hand. But Clyde stood there with his hand held out for Embry to take it again. I guess at least Embry made a friend.

Panic was starting to set in with all of us. Quill said Jacob had called his cell phone sixty four times and Jacob had left messages until he filled up his voice mail. Quill looked hard at his phone.

"Guys it's Saturday; we've been gone for three fucking days."

Then I wanted to pass out. This meant everyone knew we were gone by now, including my Mother. I can only imagine the trouble were in.

We were debating on what we needed to do. Quill took control of the situation "We need to stop panicking. We'll look around and find something to tell us where we are then we'll figure out what we need to do."

We spilt up to search the suite. I found a match book cover from the Pussy Kat Club on the floor in the living room and a tube of superglue with a bottle of silver glitter in the bathroom.

Embry came back with a pill bottle, the label had been torn off and it had magic marker writing on it "I think I know why we don't remember anything. It's fucking ecstasy, they drugged us."

I sat down at the kitchen table. Did Bee drug me? Has she been drugging me this whole time? It would make sense why I couldn't remember the first night we had spent together or now. The reason why I have felt so fucked up and different this week. But why in the hell would she do that? It's not like I wouldn't have slept with her without drugs. None of this makes any sense to me.

Embry asked me if I had Bees cell number or any of the girls. I shook my head no "I don't even know what her last name is or any of them for that matter."

We went down the list of girls; Jan, Misty, Fae, Pg, Wheels, Nancy, Gem, Miami, Jess and Bee. Embry asked me if I thought they just made up these names to give us. I kind of snickered at him "We gave them false names so anything is possible I guess."

Quill came back in the room with a flower bouquet and wedding rice in his hand. He threw down on the table a picture of me, him, Jared and Embry standing at an alter with a Minister in the Little Chapel of Love. We were wearing top hats and had a boutonniere pinned to our t-shirts.

"I'll tell you guys where we are; if you can tell me which one of us got married?"

The first place we went to find was the Little Chapel of Love. An older lady greeted us and we asked her if she remembered us. She smiled kindly.

"Of course boys I remember you and all the people that you brought in here with you. It was a very strange combination of people for a wedding. But I have seen some really strange things in the twenty years that my husband and I have been operating this chapel. I think that you have a great girl there and I hope that you both have as many happy years together as me and my Peter have had. But why are you here and not off on your honeymoon?"

We all looked at each other because we weren't sure what in the hell she was talking about or which one of us she was talking to. Quill asked her if we could have a copy of the marriage license.

The lady went back to her office and when she came out she handed the piece of paper to me. I felt my heart come up in my throat, I was the one that got married. I looked down at it to see that Paul Lahote and Isabella Swan was married here two day ago. I dropped the marriage licenses from my hand and watched it fall to the floor.

"Which one of the girls is Isabella?"

* * *

A **huge thank you goes to Fae and Gemma. They inspired me to write this. This is dedicated to my beautiful sisters.**

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**


	2. Chapter 2

**SETHS POV**

I needed to sit down a minute and think about the shit storm that was going to come my way when Paul finds out what I've done and I still have no clue who in the hell I did it with.

I leaned against Embry and he helped me to a pew. I stared at the front of the chapel where the alter is. I wished that I could remember something, anything at this point. I've missed out on so many first time experiences and what were supposed to be special things in my life. The first time I had sex and my first wedding, well Paul's first wedding.

Quill came over and sat down beside me with the piece of paper in his hand "This is really really bad man. We have to find the girl and try to get the marriage annulled. Maybe we can do it and Paul will never find out what happened. But my only question is how you were able to get a marriage license under Paul's name anyhow?" I wished I had answers for a lot of the questions. But my mind seems to be blank and swirling mess up there in my head. Paul is going to kill me when he finds out and I can't say that I would blame him. Yeah is he is an asshole and gives us all hell but he doesn't deserve what I've done to him.

The lady came back out of her office and to the back of the chapel where we were sitting. There was a wedding party coming in and she politely asked us if we could leave so she could get things ready. Quill asked her what information you have to give to get a marriage licenses. She said picture identification, fill out an application and pay the fifty dollars.

We asked if we could get a copy of the girl's identification from her that I had married. She stood there for a moment "Why would you need a copy of your own bride's identification?" We couldn't really come up with a good excuse as to why I would need that.

She seemed to sense something was wrong with us "Look boys I am sorry but that is confidential information and I can only give you what applies to you personally. I'm not sure what is going on with you but I can tell that perhaps this was a rushed marriage and you're having some doubts. You wouldn't believe the amount of couples that we marry then a week later they decided they don't want to be married anymore. Why don't I give you the paper work you need for an annulment. You have seven days from the date that you were married for you along with the bride to file the paperwork without having to go before a judge. After seven days you have to go through the total divorce process."

I asked if she could give me a copy of anything that I gave her. She handed me a receipt for fifty dollars, I had paid cash for the licenses. There was an envelope with the annulment paper work in it and a copy of an identification that I gave her.

The ID had my picture on it but Paul's name and address. I showed it to them and they started to check their wallets too. Embry said he only had one with his name on it. But Quill had three extra ones in his; Jacob Black, Sam Uley and Billy Bigloadedgunkid. What the hell kind of shit have we gotten ourselves in to? We had all gotten fake IDs and where in hell did we get them from?

We thanked the lady for her help. She handed us a picture "I almost forgot to give this to you. It was left lying on the pew." It was a picture of us guys along with people we didn't know. Very strange people we didn't know. All of our stomachs were growling and we needed to get something to eat because we have no idea the last time we ate.

At this point I wasn't sure that I could keep anything down as sick as I was feeling. But Quill and Embry wasn't having a problem with that. They had eaten all of theirs and I had only taken a few bites out of mine. Quill kept telling me everything would be alright but I'm not so sure "There are two things that we have to do before we can go home. Find the girl and get that shit handled. Find where we lost Jared. Absolutely no one phases until then. Sam will be in our head and this is over because he will kill all of us." For some reason I keep forgetting that Jared is missing. I need to stop wallowing in my own self-pity and get my shit together. Stand up and take the responsibilities for what I've done.

Embry came up with a plan that I'm not sure that I could be a part of but I really had no choice. After the chapel closes we are going to break in and steal my file with the girl's information in it. I know I'm going to burn in hell for this, but if I don't find her, hell will be the least of my worries when Paul finds out. We figured we have that part covered so we would focus on trying to find Jared.

The only place we knew we might have went to was the Pussy Kat Club. That was where we were going to start. Embry asked the waitress if she had a phone book we could use. We waited and waited while he flipped from page to page. Quill asked why he hadn't found it yet "Well I looked under pussy but I couldn't find anything." Quill smacked him in the head and looked under night clubs. We got the address and asked the waitress for directions.

We're trying to eliminate girls from the list of who she could be on the walk to the club. After talking about the girls, there was only three names that we eliminated; Jan, Jess and Nancy. But then again we weren't sure if those were even their real names either.

The Pussy Kat Club wasn't opened for business yet. But the bouncer came to the door and seemed really welcoming to us. He offered to let us come in even though they were closed. After we were inside the club "You punks have a lot of nerve coming here. Did you come to pay up?" We of course didn't know what he was talking about either.

When a dancer came in, Kiki, it wasn't hard to tell that she worked here "Where is the eight hundred dollars that you owe me for all the lap dances that I gave?" Again we were still clueless.

After telling her our story of we know nothing; she told us hers "There was six of you that came in here last night."

She pointed at me "Having a Bachelor party for you and you were all pretty wasted. Your other friend in the picture was with you then. Also some guy that said his name was Jimmy Hendricks. He kind of looked like him too shades and all. So we all went back to the Boom-Boom room. You guys watched while I gave George lap dances. But when you couldn't pay we called the cops to you. The only one that didn't get away was Jimmy, they took him to jail." Jared was with us last night so we had to have lost him sometime after that.

Asking the obvious question; who the hell is George and if she could describe him to us? She rolled her eyes "He is a fucking monkey; I think that is description enough don't you. For some reason that is beyond me; you guys thought it was funny to have me give the monkey dances and to see him tip me in bananas." We paid this girl, well not yet, to give lap dances to a monkey. At least we know that we got him on or before Friday too.

I took out the picture that the lady gave me at the Chapel "Yeah that's Jimmy." This Jimmy guy has been with us the whole time but since we got him thrown in jail he is of no use to us now.

Embry asked her if his head was shaved when we came here and did she give him a pair of thigh high panty hose "Your hair was gone when you got here and you already had the panty hose wrapped around your neck too. You rambled on about how you shaved her and she shaved you. You kept calling her pretty good, but no names were mentioned that I can remember. The only other things you guys talked about were; shiny objects, a pool party, and cotton candy. Forming a complete sentence was a chore at the time for you." Those things weren't ringing any bells with any of us. Jared apparently shaved some chicks head too.

Thinking that we could just get up and walk out of here was crazy without paying the eight hundred dollars that we owed. They gave us options; pay what we owe, go to jail or give them the chimpanzee. One of the girls wanted him for her act. But I didn't want to know what she wanted him to do with the bananas. Since we couldn't pay them and wasn't fond of the idea of going to jail, we picked the chimp. They choose to keep Quill to make sure that we would return.

I've gotten one of my pack brothers lost and who knows what's happened to him. One of them is being held by some crazy stripper police. We could have phased or kicked their asses with our strength to get away but, that would have only caused more problems I'm sure. Then everyone back at the reservation would know what we've done, or at least what we know for sure we have done.

Talking with Embry on the way back to the hotel, I think I have done the most damage to him. This a new Embry with a new attitude and it was fucking scaring me. It's like he has lost all of his brain cells and is enjoying this fucking craziness.

I knew why I had made changes to myself, it was her. I'm not saying that all of them are bad. But if I had only known the chaos that I was going to be bringing into every one's life around me I sure as the hell would have thought twice about my decisions.

Being a man is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I only saw the good things that came with it and not the bad. I went to bed with Bee a few days ago and woke up a man with her. Only wanting to have a good time and then I end up a married man to who in the hell knows.

They say love will conquer all when you've found the right person. But I don't think so. Maybe sometimes love alone isn't enough. I never thought about how my mom and dad were together the relationship they had. Their love lasted through death do us part. I want to believe in forever but maybe it will never exist for me.

 

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

I just wanted to make it back to the room and get back to the Pussy Kat Club. But that just seems to be a farther dream from my mind too. When we got off of the elevator we were greeted by six Chinese men that had Clyde "Where is Jimmy? He has a container that we need to get back from him." When we told them that Jimmy was in jail, at least that is where he was at one time. Things became even a bigger problem for us.

Some of those guys were taking a fighting stance and Embry did too. He was doing the crane stance from Karate Kid "I'll high karate you and go all Chuck Norris on your asses if you don't back up and give me the monkey."

The one looked amused "What you're going to splash aftershave on us?" Embry and I had no idea what he was talking about. But I told Embry to stop and let's rationalize this out with them. It's not like we can phase. To be honest if they want to kill me, they're going to have to get in line.

After we explained our little mishaps and no recollection; they explained exactly what was going to happen to us if we didn't get Jimmy out of jail or find out where he is and bring him to them. After they took our wallets with the fake IDs in them "Let me explain how it works when you piss off the Triads Mr. Lahote and Mr. Bigloadedgunkid; we come to your house kill your loved ones, family and any living shit near it. You have twelve hours to bring me Jimmy and my container. I will also be keeping Cocoa too. Jimmy loves this damn chimp more than he loves anything. Twelve hours boys and don't make me come looking for you."

They took our Clyde with them, well Jimmy's Cocoa. It's too bad he couldn't talk because he had probably been with us the whole time. Now on to the biggest problem it caused; how the fuck are we going to get Quill back now?

Now a gang has our home address and Paul's name too. If he doesn't end up killing me I'll probably wish he did.

I only thought that shit was bad before. I hit the surrender button and waived the white flag "We need to call Sam and tell him the truth so they can come to help us. If we don't start doing something someone is going to get seriously hurt if they haven't already."

Embry didn't like that idea and thought we could still pull our own asses out of the fire "Come on Seth. We both know calling Sam isn't going to make things any different. It's just going to fuck shit up more and bring our own misery on us faster. If we can't get somewhere with this shit by tonight then we'll call him."

This is the plan we agreed we would do. Try to find out where Jimmy is. Get the chimp back so we can rescue Quill. Retrace the places we've been so maybe we'll find Jared and break into the Chapel after hours to get the paperwork. If we have not done all of this by tonight, were calling Sam.

There was someone standing outside the door knocking on it and there was no way in hell that we were going to answer it. They slipped pieces of paper underneath it. When I opened them up I thought I was going to have a heart attack "Holy shit we owe a fourteen thousand six hundred and ninety-two dollar bill to the hotel." They haven't even seen the room condition yet. What the fuck else can go wrong?

Embry looked over the bill "Hey look man it shows almost six hundred dollars in pool side drinks. Maybe if we go down there we can talk to the bartender and he will remember us. Didn't the stripper say we were talking about a pool party? But actually we don't owe the hotel, Paul does." I must have checked in under my fake name. I'm probably sure that this will somehow come back to bite me in the ass too.

We slipped through the lobby of the hotel trying not to be noticed. The pool was already full and the bartender remembered us "Hell how could I not remember you guys. You left me a hundred dollar tip and were so drunk that when your little party group tried to karaoke you fell off of the stage. Then you invited everyone back to your room for a party." We don't remember that either. That's probably how the room got trashed.

The bartender pointed to a group of girls "Why don't you guys talk to them. They went back to your room with you." They were some lookers too. But we didn't remember them either.

Embry went over to their table and was talking to them. I'm not sure that I want to know anymore "Ladies how are you doing this fine day?" They remembered us too. There were six of them Shell, Megan, Reign, Tam, Kitty and Taz. Great more girl names to figure out who in the hell they are and what we did with them too.

When they told us some of the things that we did I thought I was going to die. Jared was there at one point then they couldn't remember if he was there at the end of the party or not.

We did things with these girls that was shameful. We played naked twister without a twister game. We took them for mud wrestling at some sleazy dive and they think that's where they remember seeing Jared last. Maybe if we go back to the Cock Pit we'll find Jared. I feel horrible that we used these girls but there is nothing that I can do about it now.

I was only halfway paying attention when they were telling us about our night together. But when they said they videotaped it that got my attention "Do you think we could take a look at the video and maybe we can piece some of our night together?" We're going to meet them back here at six tonight. I hope like hell this is going to be helpful.

My Mom always taught me to respect women and I know she would kick my ass if she knew how I have behaved. Let me correct that she will kick my ass when she finds out because there is no way in hell I'm going to be able to contain this shit from coming out.

The old saying of you reap what you sew is so true. I've heard the old guys in the tribe say it a thousand times. My future is going to be filled with everything I've done coming back to haunt me for a very long time.

My future was simple and planned out. Finish high school, met a girl and imprint on her. Get married settle down and have babies. Shit an imprint. I married a girl and didn't imprint on her. I guess I fucked up worse than even I had thought about.

 

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

We went to the Cock Pit but something was wrong with this place. There were only men in here and I didn't see any women around. Maybe it's too early still. I was talking to the guy at the bar when Embry kept interrupting "What the fuck do you want Embry I'm trying to talk to this guy?"

He was pointing to the back "Um…you really need to look at that."

We were on a large screen TV in the back of the bar. It was me, Embry, Quill and Jared dressed in purple tutus. We were wrestling in the mud with…..guys. Under those tutus were only string pieces of purple material holding our shit in place.

But the worst was yet to come. The guys we were wrestling with were grabbing us in places that other men should ever fucking touch you at. We did apparently win and received an award winning kiss from Bubba. I only thought I felt sick earlier but now that my lips were on another mans I wanted to throw up.

Embry seemed to be taking this well, too well for my liking. I won't be undressing near him for a while. He cocked his head to the side "Will you look at that?"

I was going to be sorry but I asked anyways "What?"

He was laughing "I don't know what Quill used to put that glitter on his dick but damn it lasted through mud wrestling too. Look his shit is hanging out and it's sparkling from this far away." I'm going to completely ignore this conversation.

I asked the guy behind the bar if he remembered us "Of course sugar I remember you guys. You were the stars of the bar. Actually I've already had a million hits to the You Tube video too." The videos is to show off their newest members of the gay club Wild Woodys; Paul, Sam, Jacob and Billy.

We signed a wavier giving him permission to post the video and apparently we let every man in the bar sign our asses in return. But when he showed us the video of all the guys taking turn hosing our muddy bodies down I had to leave. At least we had Jared with us then.

Outside the bar Embry pulled his pants down and wanted me to look at his ass to see if there was still signatures on his butt "Man I'm not looking at your ass or anything else for that matter." I made him walk in front of me too.

I had actual felt bad thinking we used and abused the girls that was with us but I'm thinking that they may have encouraged our bad behavior.

We were off to the next place that the guys said we talked about while getting hosed off, Spikes. Being a little nervous about visiting this place, it's an S&M club. I'm just praying that we didn't do anything to bad there.

This was the one place that we never should have went to because as soon as we walked in the guy or maybe girl that was dressed all in latex was filing a police report "Those are the assholes that destroyed my establishment and I want to press charges against them. Paul Lahote and Billy Bigloadedgunkid they had to provide identification to prove that they are twenty one to come in here."

I didn't know what we did but the place was trashed just like the suite. I thought about telling the truth as the cop was hauling us off to jail. But I decided against it because then I would be in trouble for using a false identification and lying about my age too. So I kept my mouth shut and Paul Lahote was arrested.

During the police escorted car riding we were taking Embry decided to cheer me up "Come on Seth look on the bright side man. We'll probably be put in the same cell as Jimmy and he can tell us what happened." I wish he would shut up because whenever he opens his mouth it only shows how stupid getting some from a girl can make you.

The cops were leading us back to the cells still in handcuffs. Jared is still missing and we have no idea where he is. Quill probably has been tied up and fucked up by now because we didn't go back for him.

The cop stopped at the locked door to take us back to the holding cell. Both of our bodies tensed up and we knew what was behind those barred cells, a vampire. Embry looked over at me "Maybe now is a good time to call Sam."

Really he thinks it's time to call Sam "Sir can I have my one phone call now?"

 

**BEES POV**

 

We somehow had gotten separated from the boys. I'm sure that they went home after looking for us. They left to have a bachelor party for Paul and we haven't seen them since. I wanted to stay but the jet was leaving and I didn't have enough money to buy a plane ticket to get back. This was the best weekend that we've had in such a long time. Then Wheels came up with a brilliant plan so that I can see my husband.

Wheels is driving me, Pg, Misty, Gem and Fae to Forks Washington. When she drives it's like flying in a car. The other girls went home but plan on coming down this weekend to meet my Dad and have a formal wedding ceremony. Paul promised that we would do it right after we had a quickie ceremony. He said money was no object and he wanted to see me in a long flowing wedding gown.

My Dad lives there so I can visit him too while I'm there. I haven't seen him in years since I was little. I really can't wait to introduce him to my new husband. It was a spur of the moment decision to get married but it felt right. Paul is such an amazing man and I've had some really serious trust issues with men. But Paul is so true and I trust him completely.

The place were Paul lives isn't anything like he said it was but then we were drinking so much that I could not be remembering what he said correctly. I wonder where his Ferrari is. He probably keeps it locked up somewhere I'm sure to keep it safe.

There was a gentleman in a wheel chair setting outside so we stopped and asked directions "Excuse me Sir I'm looking for Paul Lahote. Do you know where he lives?"

He smiled "Of course you are. He lives six houses down on the right."

Smiling like I won lottery and excited about seeing my husband "Paul is my husband. We got married a few days ago."

He smiled "Of course you did." I thought that was a strange response but maybe he doesn't know Paul that well.

We went six houses down and I bounced up to the door excited about seeing him. A girl answered the door and was looking at us like we were from Mars "Who the fuck are you and what do you want with Paul?"

This girl wasn't very pleasant. But I said it with pride "I'm Paul's wife."

She stood there for a moment and then started screaming "Paul you son of a bitch."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

 


	3. Chapter 3

**SETHS POV**

The cop was taking me to make my one phone call when I heard Embry "SETH. Don't fucking call Sam. I found Jimmy."

"You know what I changed my mind. I don't want to make a phone call right now."

"Whatever kid. But don't expect the chance to make another one. I won't bring you back out here."

Slamming the cell door shut. Fuck me the vampire was in the cell with me. My wolf wasn't under control right now. Embry walked in the middle of us "Relax, he's not going to cause us any trouble." I know this trip has some what changed Embry but come on.

The long haired vampire that is apparently Jimmy sat up from his concrete bed "That's right little dude. I'm not gonna cause any shit. We partied together last night. I'm kind of laid back and fun kind of vampire. I won't fuck with you if you don't fuck with me."

This is even more fucked up that we partied with what we are born to kill. But he is my only hope right now of finding out the truth and maybe finding Jared. So the three of us called a truce until we get all of this mess sorted out.

He pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head and his eyes where green. I stared to long into his eyes and he must have noticed "I know what you're thinking. No vampires have green eyes. It was just to much weed and well other drugs in the sixties man. When I was turned I was stoned out of my mind and my eyes were a mix of red and green. I still toke it now even though I don't get the same effect. But hey, I'm a party animal. Well I thought at least I was until I meet you guys anyways."

"We partied with you and you're a dope smoking vampire?"

Apparently he was not the only one that had toked it up, we did too. Another thing that I experienced I don't fucking remember.

His memory should be excellent but even he was having trouble trying to remember too. He went on to tell us about our night at least what his memory could recall. He started with why Embry's head was shaved.

"You shaved that blond chick Pg and she shaved you. The last I saw of you, you was out on balcony dirty dancing in a dress with yourself. That was something I have never seen before because you were humping the statue instead of all the girls that was standing around watching. I don't think the little angels fountain will ever work the same again." I was trying to think about what Jimmy had just said. Then I got it, Embry was using it's mouth in a very perverted way.

"Shit, I bet when Pg woke up with no hair left on her head she was one pissed bitch."

"No man, you didn't shave her head. You did her hoo-haa. I actually enjoyed watching that about as much as everyone else did."

Embry never said another word and looked like he was in his own little fucked up world right now. Yeah that's what it's like not to remember and to know you have done shit you wouldn't ever want your mama to find out about.

I wasn't sure that my poor heart could take anymore information but I had to ask "Were you with us when I got married? We also lost Jared. Do you know where he is?"

He remembered being at the wedding and it was a dark haired girl. At least I am down to four girls now and not all of them anymore. It had to be Jessica, Nancy, Jan or Bee. But he knew nothing of the where abouts of Jared. I am still really confused as to what drug could possibly make wolves and a vampire loose all of their memory.

Jimmy also told us about how we dropped off the girls at the Inn, Big Dick's Halfway Inn no less, and went out after to have me a bachelor party. At least that explains why they weren't there when we woke up. Now all I have to do is figure out which girl I married and go to the Inn to get her to sign the annulment papers.

I don't know how long we've been setting here but I watched Embry look like he was thinking really hard and kept writing on a piece of paper "What in the fuck are you doing?"

"I wrote a song about our night out. Do you want to hear it?"

I don't know if was from boredom, I was just humoring him or from left over drugging effects of last night that made me say yes.

* * *

_**"We just wanted one wild night of our lives with some beautiful chicks.** _

_**I think we were all just looking for a place to put our dicks.** _

_**.** _

_**Seth used Paul's name to marry a girl he didn't know.** _

_**By the way my ass hurts, I hope the guys at Wild Woodys only used a dildo.** _

_**.** _

_**Clyde got lap dances from a stripper named Kiki. I shaved the hoo haa** _

_**of a girl named PG.** _

_**.** _

_**We woke up not remembering a damn thing and partied all night with a vamp** _

_**that has fangs.** _

_**.** _

_**Quill is being held by the stripper police cause we're broke. Jimmy the vampire** _

_**has green eyes cause he's smoked too much dope.** _

_**.** _

_**Jared is gone and we don't know where. I woke up this morning without any hair.** _

_**.** _

_**When Paul finds out all the shit Seth has done, for sure he's dead. But before I die,** _

_**I wanna at least get head.** _

_**.** _

_**I just wanna get head, lick me like a lolly pop yeah..yeah..yeah."** _

* * *

Looking really pleased with what he just sang to us "So what do you guys think?"

Jimmy and I just looked at each other and didn't even comment on that fucked up shit.

Jimmy got up and went over to the cell door "I've just been hanging out waiting on you guys to get here. I think it's time we get gone." I couldn't agree more.

With one hit the cell door it made a loud booming noise when it hit the floor. Jimmy was gone faster than Embry and I could blink. Needless to say our asses followed him fast to get the fuck up on out of here.

We caught up with him a few blocks away. But still needed to be careful and watch for cops. I'm sure they didn't like the condition we left our cell in or the abrupt way we left. But what is the worst thing that could happen? They catch us again.

Following Jimmy into a shop but this place was strange. In the back there was plants everywhere. Going over to a large vault he opened the door and well there was brick after bricks of, can you guess, yes marrriuani. Lighting up and offering to share. I passed. I've gotten myself in enough trouble but Embry didn't "Seth you just need to relax. Do you really think after all the things we've done this is our biggest problem?" He was right about that I guess.

Looking around I saw ID's every where of different people "Jimmy what is all of this?" This is where our adventure had began. We meet Jimmy and he was an excellent artist of producing fake ID's.

"You guys and those girls came in here and wanted to get ID's so you could get into some clubs and do some drinking. Most of you aren't twenty one so I helped you out. This is how I make my living. Selling a few IDs and a few other illegal activities."

I always thought vampires were just rich and did upstanding things in the community.

"Look man I was born in the era of sticking it to the man. I do illegal shit just for the thrill. When you came in here I knew what you were and you all seemed harmless. Your like me even though I wasn't born this way, it's what I am and there's nothing I can do about it now. I didn't see any harm in giving you what you wanted, party time. But somewhere during the party shit got serious and you asked that girl to marry you." He was right about that, real serious shit happened.

The first place we was going to go is back to the Little Church of Love to get the file. Going around to the back door Embry asked how we were going to get in? Both Jimmy and I gave him that look.

Jimmy knocked down the door. We got into the file cabinet "Hey. Who is watching Cocoa?" Oh yeah I forgot about Clyde.

Explaining that the strippers wanted him in exchange for Quill. The Triads wanted him in exchange for some box Jimmy has. But he wasn't taking it well at all "You let them take my amigo, my best friend and my Cocoa?" Ive never seen someone so attached to a monkey before. I really felt bad for Jimmy. Because he couldn't remember where in the hell he left the container to get Clyde back. Just one more mystery of our night out.

He sat down and if he could have cried I think he would have. Seeing flashing lights through the window we must have tripped an alarm or something "We have to get the fuck out of here and now." I grabbed the file that I needed and we were running.

We ripped the door off of the front and was surprised once again. The same cop that had put us in jail before was standing there "What the hell didn't I already arrest you once today?" Why yes he did but, we chose our own release program from the jail.

Jimmy walked up to the officer and pushed up his shades "Look into my eyes." The officer almost seemed high too. Is that shit even possible?

"You will let us go and strip down to your underwear and do exactly what I say." The officer did. Then Jimmy told him to walk across the street and get on the merry go round. He cuffed the officer to it.

When the other officer came around Jimmy did the same thing to him. They were in the doggie style position, one behind the other in their underwear cuffed to a little kids merry go round. Damn I would hate to be found like that.

Walking down the street Embry asked Jimmy how he did that "It's gift man. I can get almost anybody to do anything I want them too as long as I'm stoned at the time." Pulling out another joint and lighting up with him. Hell if he can do that, the rest of this shit should be a piece of cake, a walk in the park.

I never knew how relaxed this shit could really make you. That's something I've always had trouble with in my life; just relaxing and letting shit happen the way it's suppose to. I think that's part of the reason why I did some of things that I did with Bee. I needed it to happen and right now. Not being old enough to use patients the way your suppose to.

Knowing that it really doesn't excuse my actions but at least I'm starting to be able to explain it to myself. Mom always tells me; you never know what life holds in store for you but it's how you handle it that counts.

I've handled everything all wrong from the start. All I can do now is start righting those wrongs one by one. Be truly sorry for what I've done and make it up to those around me. Even though I know mom will be disappointed in me; she would be happy to know that somethings she has said to me over the years were not wasted breath and I did actullay listen to her. I might not have just followed what she said correctly.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Embry was starving so we stopped to grab a burger. I finally found my balls and opened the envelope to see who it was that I married. It was Bee.

There was a bunch of wedding photos they had taken and a another girl was in there that we didn't know who in the hell she was either.

When I flipped to the back of of the file there was a photo of a of a lot of guys in there too "Do you remember anything about any of these guys?"

Jimmy looked at the picture and he remembered that those were all college guys that wanted to party with the group, well the girls anyways. The different bars we had been at was the Sticky Wicket, Wookie Hole, Hollar & Swaller and Licker in the Front, Poker in the back.

We were going to sneak back to the hotel we trashed and meet the girls at 6:00 to watch the video they had taken from one of the nights we had. After that visit the bars and hope Jimmy can remember in the mean time where he left the container at so we can go meet the Triads.

Jimmy stopped in his tracks. He was finally piecing together something about where Jared was "Wait, I think the last time I saw him we were burring the body outside of town. Yeah man, that's it I'm sure of it." Oh fuck me!

**PAULS POV**

I heard Kim yelling; Paul you son of a bitch. I was trying to think exactly what I had done lately to piss her off but I wasn't coming up with anything really.

When I went into the living room she was standing at the door with a group of girls, well shit that explained it. I must admit in the past I might have strayed a little, okay a lot but I've been exceptionally good lately.

Scanning each of their faces damn quick, I didn't recognize any of them. Kim was in my face "I told you what was going to happen the last time you fucked around and I was serious about it you mother fucker." Well she has told me so much shit I had to stop and think about the last time.

When I heard the kitchen door open and knives clanking around together, I remembered pretty damn fast. She was coming at me "Your balls are going to be on a necklace around my neck." Yeah that was what she told me.

Pinning her down on the table and trying my damnedest to not get stabbed or hurt her because shes a lot stronger than she looks "Listen to me. I didn't do anything. Let go of it."

With daggers in her eyes "Okay, I'll let go." She did but when her knee came up and meet my balls I let go too. That's the one thing being a wolf that is not any different than a normal man or protected in anyway; your balls.

Grabbing my crotch I was curled up on the kitchen floor in the fetal position wishing the pain would go away. The girls came into the kitchen and a little dark haired one stood in between me and Kim "Please stop. I don't even know who he is." Well shit, why couldn't she have told Kim that from the start?

Kim now was in her face. I saw Kim's hand come up and this little girl was gonna get it now. But then I saw the most radiant and beautiful woman I've ever seen. She has long flowing black hair and her dark skin was making that hot pink blouse she was wearing make me wish she would take it off just so I could touch all of her. She grabbed Kim's hand "I wouldn't do that if I was you."

The smaller girl grabbed Ms. come take me because you know you want to "Wheels, please let me handle this."

She let go of Kim but gave her a warning "You try that shit again and I will kick your ass." Oh damn if my balls didn't hurt so much right now I swear the whole world would know how much this is turning me on.

The little dark haired girl didn't look very good "I'm just looking for my husband Paul Lahote. Do you know where he lives?"

But the little blond girl was very helpful. She bent down beside me while all the girls were arguing with Kim "Awe honey, do you have a penis cramp? Do you want me to rub it for you?" I thought and thought about that. I so did but maybe later. I didn't think this was a good time.

Finally getting some order to all of this female PMS experiencing day of hell I was having. I got them all to go outside and with any luck I can get them to leave. Well except for Ms take me anyway you want to because I'll like it and hopefully I can get her to go out on a date with me. The look on my face must have revealed a little bit to much because Kim was looking daggers through me.

Before we could continue the conversation a police car pulled up with Sam and Jacob in the back seat. The officer came up "I'm looking for Paul Lahote." I knew something wasn't right and I wasn't that fucking stupid to say that's who I am.

Kim had a huge smile on her face as she pointed to me "That is Paul." My own damn women turned me in. They ain't lying when they say a woman's scorn is much worse than a woman on Prozac. Even though I am almost damn positive that I am innocent, yeah I said almost. I always try to allow myself a ten percent margin for error when I'm drunk or just fucked up.

Arguing that he was making a mistake and I was the wrong Paul. He asked me where I had been over the last week. I thought I was being smart by not saying here in Forks but I was wrong.

Even after telling him the truth that I was at the Council Convention, he was cuffing me "Please remove your hand from your penis and do not force me to remove it for you. You are under arrest for soliciting male prostitution, breaking and entering, destroying personal property, destroying official police property, sodomy of animals; that charge is still pending, indecent exposure, theft by deception for the strippers that you failed to pay, drug use with the intent to distribute and being a wanted fugitive on the run. If I was you son I would use that right and remain very silent." Oh fuck me!

On my way to join Sam and Jacob in the police car the officer made me stop "Do any of you happen to know where Mr. Bigloadedgunkid lives?"

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**I hope you enjoyed reading me! I**

 


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